The Horusath Idol
by Ihsan997
Summary: Four mid-level NPCs are sent by a mad scientist to retrieve an exceptionally rare battle pet. Facing overbearing gate keepers and excessively long queue times, they search for the construct only to discover the horrible and annoying truth...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: hello, readers! This story takes place *before* "Battle of the Antoran Gates" and thus is set a few years prior to the Legion expac. Pictures of the characters available on DA in my favorites list, or in the profile of the very talented artist, Mischiart. Enjoy!**

Zulgha glanced up at the clock on the wall of the study room again. It was the late afternoon, and by her count she'd been in the private library of Dr. Bunsenburger's estate for three hours. Such an afternoon was typical; she worked hard all morning helping the doctor to assemble various minions for the Forsaken army in exchange for the free room and board she and her friends received. Her afternoon study was a two-way part of the deal: necromancy was her passion, and it also helped her perform her job better. But on that particular afternoon, her brain had absorbed about all the information she could.

Closing the post-mortum surgical tome she'd been annotating, the orc rubbed her eyes for a moment before rising to take a much needed break. The chance that she'd actually return to her book after taking a break so late in the afternoon was slim, but it was only Tuesday; she'd need to pace herself if she wanted to maintain her mental energy.

Passing by the musty old shelves, haunted brooms sweeping the floor and random ghosts haunting the library, she exited through the aged wooden doors of the high brick building and walked into the grassy courtyard of Bunsenburger's estate. Brill was chilly that time of year, and Zulgha pulled the hood of her black robes over her head as she strolled around the stone walking path. The weather was pleasant, and a quiet walk was just what she'd needed at that time. Her mind wandered even further astray than her feet had, and she stole away maybe half an hour of walking and clearing her mind before she heard the familiar sound of heavy stone feet landing lightly, almost daintily, next to her. The winged, four legged, two armed creature paced next to her for a few seconds, obviously wanting to chat but too shy to speak first.

"Good afternoon, Rahotepa," Zulgha said to the cat-like obsidian destroyer walking next to her. "Did the gargoyles tire you out already?"

Blinking with eyes that were made from gemstones, the bejeweled being from Northrend almost didn't catch the sarcasm at first. "What? Never...oh...yes, they tired me out so much that they are all napping in the rookery now!" Rahotepa waited for Zulgha to laugh before she laughed as well, but there was obviously something on the destroyer's mind. "The doctor said that he needs to talk to us in his office. He did not specify the topic, but I believe that he has a quest for us."

Although they continued walking, Zulgha's attention was firmly pulled into the conversation. "It's been a few months...I really could use a break from the monotony." She glanced up and noticed some of the skeletal birds flying south, forever playing out the unnecessary rituals from their previous lives. "Winter is coming...maybe we'll get sent to Stranglethorn or some place nice like that."

As the two of them changed course and began walking toward the estate's laboratory proper, they began to speculate about what sort of assignment they could be given. "I have wanted to travel to Outland for some time now," Rahotepa rambled as the two of them walked around a gaggle of ghouls forever patrolling the estate grounds. "The pictures always look so fascinating...plus, so little of the environment seems to have been catalogued since this great catastrophe."

"Yes, my parents were from Draenor prior to the Second War. What they describe is so different from what everybody says now," Zulgha sighed wistfully as they entered the three-story laboratory building with its gothic architecture and mostly undecorated, bizarrely long hallways. "Maybe we'll get one of those quests where we have to world hop and visit a whole bunch of places."

Inside the laboratory building, they only had to pass a few wraiths monitoring the halls in order to reach their employer's messy office. Doors perpetrually propped open by stacks of unread mail, creaky office chairs and end tables kept standing via the support of stacked lab reports and journal articles, Dr. Bunsenburger's personal cave was the epitome of a mad scientist's disorganized work. He didn't notice them enter, so engrossed was he in his attempt to search for a lost item among the piles of packages, files and bubble wrap on his desk. Though Bunsenburger had undergone cosmetic surgery to prevent his body from breaking down in undeath, he was still much thinner than he would have been in life, and he almost disappeared behind all the stacks of loose papers.

Not wanting to be blamed for eavesdropping on his muttered brainstorming out loud, Zulgha cleared her throat to grab the doctor's attention. Bunsenburger was truly as much a genius as he was a maniac, if a very absentminded genius. He literally looked at the wall behind him at first, as if the person clearing their throat had materialized there, and he needed a few seconds to realize that his visitors had entered from the door like all other corporeal beings.

"Hmm? Huh? Yes, you're both here. Just in time, I have a very important quest that needs to be started right away."

It was typical of the Doctor to skip pleasantries, and Zulgha was used enough to his habits not to be offended. Seating herself on one of the oaken chairs facing the main desk, she waited for Rahotepa to awkwardly sit down in the form of a cat loaf before she spoke. "Well, I'm glad to hear that doctor. It's been a few months for both Rahotepa and I to travel for a quest, and it feels like the right time." Bunsenburger continued searching intently for a buried treasure on his mess of a desk, so she continued. "So...anything that requires us to travel outside of Tirisfal? To a place with beaches and warm weather, perhaps?"

"And latent magic permeating the atmosphere until it sparkles?" asked Rahotepa.

Without even looking up, Bunsenburger cut to the chase of his orders. "Yes, well, even better than all of those places! You're going to...Ahn Qiraj!" the mad scientist exclaimed as if it was the most gracious news he'd ever delivered.

Since Rahotepa was made of a flexible stone-like substance, she had an easy time hiding her reactions. Zulgha, on the other hand, had to fake a smile in the face of her boss. "Oh...Ahn Qiraj...a land of sand and bugs and dry cold and...old...ness."

"Actually, Ahn Qiraj is in the Southern Hemisphere, so the region is in the beginning of summer right now," Rahotepa chirped, though she immediately shrunk as if she'd said something wrong. Knowing her, she didn't want to offend Zulgha with overt enthusiasm...but then again, why would anybody be enthusiastic about the land of shifting sands? Zulgha peered at Rahotepa through her peripheral vision, but couldn't figure out why in the world her close friend would be interested in such a place. Or why anybody would, for that matter.

"So...what exactly do you need us to do?" Zulgha asked.

"Aha!" Bunsenburger cried triumphantly as he found the secret which had eluded him so far. Slapping it down on the edge of his desk, he revealed it to be a photograph captured by a Gnomish camera. There appeared to be a lot of grey sand, black stone and the image of a polyhedral object of a light blue color. "See?"

Upon inspection, Zulgha began to make out the details of the being interspersed with loose sand and swarming silithids. "It appears to be one of those Titan constructs that were appropriated by the Qiraji. This one is a horusath, one of those massive..." She paused when she realized that the gigantic construct was actually standing next to a single lost shoe that wasn't that much smaller than the being itself. "Wait, it's a miniature?" she asked in confusion.

"It's an Idol!" Bunsenburger replied excitedly while flipping open the display case in his office. Row after row of deactivated anubisath idols stood idle, lined up like trophies across the shelves of the display case. "I need it in order to finish this wing of my battle pet collection!"

As awestruck as Bunsenburger was, Zulgha still didn't quite understand the point. "Uh, sir...you don't just have a collection; you have _all_ of the anubisath idols in Lordaeron. In fact, the asking price at the Undercity Auction House has topped fifteen thousand gold pieces because you've bought every one of them on the market. Isn't Ahn Qiraj a little far for a battle pet? And isn't it under permanent lockdown by the Cenarion Circle just to ensure that-"

"Nonsense!" Bunsenburger replied, not angrily though she got the feeling that his mind couldn't be changed. "A real battle pet master must travel far and wide for the rarest and most exotic battle pets. Plus, you'll get to see a lost kingdom - it's the tourist trip of a lifetime!"

Zulgha noticed Rahotepa looking up at her hopefully. She knew that the winged warrior was too innocent to have collaborated with Bunsenburger on the idea, but Rahotepa obviously wanted to go on the trip for whatever reason. Plus, the good doctor was still their boss; there really wasn't much for them to consider anyway.

Relenting, Zulgha threw her hands up in the air. "When do we leave, then?"

"Tomorrow."

Zulgha blinked a few times, questioning whether she was losing her sense of hearing or not. Even Rahotepa, who seemed to want to go, crooked her head back in surprise. "Tomorrow?" Zulgha asked in confirmation.

"Tomorrow," Bunsenburger replied while filling out some sort of a form.

"To an entirely different continent?"

"Yes, to Ahn Qiraj, like I was saying. The boat leaves from that new port on the north coast of Tirisfal tomorrow morning at seven. You two can fly there together, since, you know," Bunsenburger explained while motioning toward Rahotepa's wings with his elbow, "and since it will take maybe four hours to fly there...well, you should probably fly there tonight."

Already facepalming, Zulgha mentally kicked herself for her earlier wish for a little change in her routine. "And I'm guessing the voyage will take at least...three weeks?"

"Three weeks and four days, but I already booked all four of you tickets on one of the formal passenger ships. They even have heated water in the on-board showers. That's mainly for you, Zulgha."

She spread her fingers across her face, maintaining the facepalm but peeking at the good doctor. "All four of us?" she asked wearily. _Please be someone competent,_ she thought. _Or some manageable minions and a hot Draenei guy_.

"Why, you're taking Runa and Finneas with you, of course. That way, Runa can also fly and reduce travel costs over land, and Finneas will provide an endless mana source for everybody!"

Upon hearing the news that they'd have to take the biggest brown noser and the biggest jerk at the entire estate with them, Zulgha just slumped until her forehead hit the surface of Bunsenburger's desk.


	2. Chapter 2

A late night flight halfway across Tirisfal Glades, a month long voyage to another continent on a boat full of goblins, and four straight days of flying, sleeping in the wilderness in tents, and then flying some more across Tanaris, the Ungoro Crater and then most of Silithus can do a lot of things to a person. In Zulgha's case, it had driven her to gank a random group of Alliance adventurers, set a Venture Company trade caravan on fire, and curse several gnomes they encountered at Cenarion Hold with blight for no real reason. Fortunately, her travel partners were amicable toward such forms of stress release, and she found herself slightly less annoyed with the two additions to their party.

High above the sands of Silithus, Zulgha rode on Rahotepa, the obsidian destroyer's centaur-like body type lending itself to being ridden. The two were close enough friends that the ride wasn't awkward, and Zulgha found that she could even take naps while resting her head against the back of Rahotepa's (Rahotepa didn't require sleep). The air was warm and dry, but the climate lent itself to clear nights that were quite idyllic. Across from them were their two other companions. Runa, the Brill laboratory's resident lesser val'kyr, flew rather slow to prevent her black braids from being disturbed by the wind, ever concerned with her image even when she knew full well that Zulgha couldn't stand being around her. Donning polished ethereal armor and physically looking like the peak of fitness, Runa also had a tendency to share lab secrets with other val'kyr regardless of affiliation and was also honest to the point of naïveté. Perhaps Zulgha was too hard on the ghostly woman sometimes, but she really couldn't help it; lack of discretion and subtlety from a being who was technically quite intelligent just drove Zulgha nuts.

Finneas, the fourth member of their party, was one of the most disagreeable people Zulgha had ever met. A diminutive undead human, Finneas' heart had been replaced with a mana battery that had an expected life of over a century. His mana simply never ran out, and the technology installed with the battery allowed him to electrocute enemies, but damned if he wasn't a rude and insufferable person. Runa had carried him like a sack of potatoes for most of the trip, which was befitting since he didn't get along with anybody. Occasionally Zulgha would imagine him just...slipping out of Runa's grip and plummeting to the sands below, though she'd then have a lot of explaining to do with Bunsenburger when they returned.

No...this was her group, for better or for worse. They'd seen a lot of interesting sights so far and she tried to convince herself that this was like a sightseeing trip for herself and Rahotepa. Speaking of which-

"I can see the ruined gates of Ahn Qiraj over the horizon," Runa announced in her perennial Northrend accent. She even pointed nobly as if she was trying to strike a pose, though after a month Zulgha had almost started to tune vry'kul's preening.

"It's about time!" Finneas shouted, agitated and terrified as Runa held him only by the collar of his jacket about a dozen stories high from the ground.

Sure enough, the hig obelisks of the once-mighty city were poking up from the sands, alongside the massive wall that had been indistinguishable from the surrounding mountains just a few minutes ago.

"Finally...I feel like we've been living in tents forever," Zulgha sighed in relief. Remembering the potential mishaps that could arise from the presence of a sentient destroyer, she tried to walk her friend and temporary mount of the conversation they'd been preparing for during the voyage at sea. "Okay Rahotepa, do you remember what to say if they ask why we're bringing one of the obsidian destroyers _into_ AQ?"

"I should tell them that there are destroyers from Kalimdor and from Northrend, and those of us from Northrend are distinguished by sentience and a much smaller size." The sentient destroyer paused, but appeared to be thinking the matter over further. "And that they should be less ignorant and understand that tol'vir inhabited different parts of the world."

"Right, that might make them feel embarrassed. If you call them ignorant, I mean, because then they'll worry that you'll call them racist."

As Rahotepa began to descend and the blockade just outside the walls of Ahn Qiraj drew nearer, she appeared to become more pensive. "I hope they just do not say anything to begin with," she sighed as they passed a Cenarion hippogriff rider whose eyes nearly popped out of her head.

The closer they approached, the more detail Zulgha could see of the now permanent Cenarion Circle blockade outside the Gates of Ahn Qiraj. Thorny trees similar to those grown by the quilboar reached toward the sky, forming a natural barrier for miles against the walls of the gates. Numerous sprite darters, dragon whelplings, desert lizards and even a few kodo paces around, eating any random silithid spawn that they found. The camp was much less elaborate than Cenarion Hold, resembling a military outpost more than a town, and even the assorted members of the Circle, the Argent Crusade surprisingly, and some Alliance guild called the Knights of Stormwind were sleeping in tents and storing their provisions in crates. There was no proper flight point, and as more of the elven Sentinels began to watch the gothic group's approach, Zulgha began to scan the assorted defenders and what appeared to be a handful of laborers for friendly faces.

The moon elves, or dark elves, or whatever they were calling themselves now all watched the party of four without moving their heads; they held very still but Zulgha knew them well enough to know that they were always watching. Some of them were armored, some of them were furry druids, a very small number wore priestess robes, but they all looked supremely unfriendly and displeased. The humans were a mixed bag, as their kind tended to be; the younger guards and the laborers visibly stared and pointed, while the members of the Argent Crusade didn't appear perturbed at all. There were a few orcs milling about, but they were all members of the Crusade as well, and Zulgha knew from experience that they'd put their organization before any sort of racial solidarity.

Just as they were about to land in front of the blockade and a few thoroughly unamused druids, Zulgha noticed their lifeline: a group of people wearing black robes. She had no idea who they were, but she immediately knew those would be the people that would be friendly toward them.

The very moment that Rahotepa's paws hit the ground, Zulgha hopped off and bounced past their interlocutors, leaving her mount and her two frenemies to deal with the questioning as she slipped toward people who dressed like her. There were four of them, one of whom was obviously an undead human like Finneas, and all of them were loitering under an open-air tent containing scant furniture and crates of stationery. Zulgha couldn't hear the interrogation behind her, which was a good thing; maybe the Cenarion guards would just eyeball them for a bit until other people assigned to the blockade would vouch for them.

One of the berobed figures, a relatively short worgen woman, turned to face Zulgha. Glancing at her in confusion, the Gilnean inspected the orc's black robe carefully. "We didn't receive word of any more interns," the worgen asked quietly.

 _Interns for what_? Zulgha wondered to herself. Quickly scanning the tent, she noticed grimoires stacked in a desk as well as a chart hanging from the ceiling of the tent detailing the stages of demonic corruption. She out two and two together and assumed that, for whatever reason, warlocks had been posted alongside the druids and paladins in order to ensure that no type of corruption reached Ahn Qiraj again, whether Old God or Legion. A rudimentary plan formed in her head just as she heard heavy footsteps approaching her from behind.

"Well, we were actually sent in order to monitor possible Scourge infiltration within the ruins themselves," Zulgha bluffed.

The worgen and another warlock, a goblin of all people, furrowed their brows in suspicion. "Scourge? Here?" the worgen asked incredulously.

"I know, I know, it's crazy, right? Almost like somebody thinking that the Burning Legion would be interested in this place," Zulgha replied, earning herself a defensive expression from the worgen but an understanding laugh from the undead human. "But that's probably why they only sent me and a few associates here to check anyway. Plus, I could probably graduate from my internship if I was able to declare this place Scourge-free."

The worgen shook her head. "It's the Cult of the Damned, now, not the Scourge. And they've never been found in the Southern Hemisphere on this continent. I've never heard anything about this."

"And since when do graduate assistanceship positions ever set logical, reasonable conditions for completion?" Zulgha made sure to nudge the goblin man with her elbow, encouraging the already light laughter to grow; interns of any field all shared many of the same complaints, even though Zulgha technically finished her own internship a few years prior. "Listen, I know what I'm telling you is rubbish, just like most other work-study programs out there. They give us these silly criteria that they specifically design in order to be nigh impossible-"

"I don't know who you are," the worgen woman stated as she interrupted the bluff, "and you literally just arrived here and started chattering away. If you don't mind, we have work to do and it doesn't involve entertaining strangers trying to sell something."

"I'm not selling anything!"

"Come on, let her finish," the goblin warlock pleaded. "Interns got to help each other out."

"Hey, yeah, actually there's this thing about our stipend," Zulgha said, literally making up every word as she went along. Although the worgen just pinched the bridge of her snout, the goblin and the fourth warlock - revealing herself to be a human upon removing her hood - both became animated at the mention of money. "We only have four people, but typical adventure style groups involve five members. If you could lend us one of your own and, you know, vouch for our entrance, we could probably work out a deal-"

"Well, ma'am, it looks like we're both in luck!" burst out the goblin as he leapt in between Zulgha and the worgen. All of them were interrupted by the sound of a large man clearing his throat.

Standing behind Zulgha was one of the elven druids. Shoulders wider than a male of Zulgha's kind, beard down to his waste and clothes made from the skin of a bear, he appeared disappointed, though not quite mad. And he didn't say anything; he just stared at Zulgha as if he expected her to start explaining herself. Behind him, she could see a few armored women with green hair surrounding her friends as Finneas argued (unsuccessfully) with them.

The goblin appeared undaunted by anything at all when money was involved. "Kind sir, these interns have arrived for a temporary assignment. They need me to escort them inside of the ruins to bring a set of readings back to our HQ, pronto."

 _This guy is good_ , Zulgha mused. "Exactly. And I can assure you, sir, this will be a quick in-and-out reading of corruption levels. As much as you probably don't want the liability of more people running around here, we also don't want to spend too much time being the ones running around here."

Long ears twitched a bit, but otherwise the bear druid didn't give any indication of his reaction. Without rotating is neck, he glanced at the worgen woman, who actually did appear more mad than disappointed. Whatever sort of internal dynamic the warlocks had among them failed her, and she waved her hand dismissively. "It's his responsibility," she said, obviously referring to her goblin colleague.

Despite the old, purple elf having a glare that could make a person's head explode, he seemed to relent. "See to it that they finish in a timely fashion," he told the goblin in accented Common, "and that they leave as soon as is possible. There are still restive silithids that dodge our extermination runs; we don't need the scandal of some newbies dying on our watch." He was about to walk away, but turned back to Zulgha at the last second. "And please tell your pet destroyer to stop calling my initiates racist."

Relieved that she'd finagled her way past multi-factional security within minutes, and based on total bullshit, Zulgha was willing to do whatever the man said. "Don't worry, I'll keep a figurative leash on her," she replied while quickly stepping past the large man and walking back toward her party. She didn't have to tell the goblin guide to follow her, and he hurried over to where the others were waiting near several Cenarion guards.

Runa appeared to be in a pretentious pose contest against one of the elves, or a staring contest, or both. Finneas had apparently shut up via a miracle, leaving Rahotepa to poorly argue her case against three sentinels who simply weren't having it.

"I'm trying to tell you, tol'vir come in two varieties - those from Uldum and those from Ulduar!"

"Please calm down, ma'am," the sentinel said in a monotone voice.

"No, I will not calm down! This is discrimination - I have as much a right to be here as anyone!" Rahotepa protested, though in a voice that was low and rather polite.

"Nobody has the right to be here, so you're technically correct. Ahn Qiraj is a restricted area ever since a party of newbies entered seeking fat loot and never returned."

"It's 'noobs' and 'phat lewtz'," Finneas grumbled at the elf.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, I didn't say anything!"

"Ahem," the goblin warlock said as he and Zulgha approached the guards. "It's alright, sentinel. My operation is hosting them, and we accept responsibility for their safety. They'll be in and out in a jiffy."

As if it punctuate his fakeness, the goblin flashed a winning shark's grin. He probably thought it looked reassuring, but the sentinel just glanced back at the disappointed druid and waited for the man's reluctant nod. Without a word, the sentinel and her comrades stepped aside, leaving the goblin to happily hop past her. Before Rahotepa could continue her rehearsed rant, Zulgha pulled her away, just trying to get the group away from any security officials and move on.

"Did I do good?" Rahotepa whispered.

"Yes, as good as we could have in a situation like this. But let's not push our luck, come on." Zulgha glanced back at Runa and Finneas only momentarily to be sure that they were following, then focused her gaze ahead again. They were winding in and out of thorny Cenarion barricades as well as a few metal ones set up courtesy of the Knights of Stormwind. All along, more of the druids peripherally peered at them, and even a few of the orc and human volunteers did a double take when they saw small (relatively speaking) obsidian destroyer walking alongside a group of adventurers who obviously weren't regulars assigned to blockade duty. "Let's just move fast so we can avoid any more interrogations," she murmured.

Beyond the last of the barricades stood the gates to the ruins, as high as the walls of Orgrimmar and almost as sturdy despite their being older than even the dragonflights and Wild Gods. A final retinue of elven guards stepped aside for them, revealing a very recent addition of steel-reinforced concrete blocking the lower entrance to the gates. A heavy oaken door opened and closed behind them, leaving the five within the walls of Ahn Qiraj.

And then a giant stone foot stomped on the goblin warlock, squashing him like a bug and knocking Zulgha into the sand about twenty feet away.


	3. Chapter 3

Sand stung Zulgha's left eye and for some bizarre reason her right ear popped. She thought that she was face down in the sands of Ahn Qiraj but was actually sideways, and ended up shrimping backward and inadvertently creating a sand angel as she tried to regain her sense of balance. One second, and they'd all been leisurely walking through the entrance of the ruins; just a few seconds after the doors had been shut behind them, and a big pillar of stone had smushed their goblin guide like a scarab.

Upon her first attempt to stand, Zulgha stumbled and fell down, but also felt behind her quickly enough to discover one of the high walls of the maze-like ruins. Leaning, gasping to catch her breath and swearing she was going to finally start jogging for twenty minutes a day if she survived (for serious this time), she shook the stars out of her head only in time to see what had knocked their group apart.

Standing over the crumpled warlock robes stained with blood were two long pillars of cracked obsidian leading up to a weathered trunk. Despite being a ghost, Runa had somehow also gotten sand beneath her helmet and in her eyes, though had at least managed to stay on her feet as she vigorously tried to brush the particles out of her eyelashes. Rahotepa was almost as lost as Zulgha, helplessly flapping around in circles, and Finneas was cussing up a storm somewhere but not anywhere visible. Stomping dangerously close to her two winged friends was what appeared to be a giant stone dog man.

"It's an anubisath!" Zulgha cried, trying to alert the others.

Although Ahn Qiraj had supposedly been conquered years ago, there was obviously a reason why the ruins had been on lockdown. The construct appeared to be a remnant survivor, brittle and cracked and missing both of its hands. For all its deep cracks and weather-withered colors, the anubisath still had working legs and feet and was large enough to literally walk all over them if they gave it the chance. And it was marching directly toward her.

Per her usual reaction, Zulgha reached into her mana pool and began to blight the ground around her. Since she was still an acolyte and not yet a full fledged necromancer, she didn't know how to raise the dead goblin as a minion, and her curses would only work on living biological targets. Without minions or direct means of attack, she had to think fast.

Think...fast...another big foot came crashing down, kicking up more dust and garnering more cuss words from Finneas, wherever he was.

From Finneas...think fast. Zulgha fought to a standing position, running against the wall and trying to find an opening. The construct's legs were long and its strides covered much ground, but it was slow and unable to grab or hit her; she at least had the consolation that being stepped on was its only means of killing her.

 _It's foot came down again_.

Like a bat out of hell, she dove, rolling and pulling off a somersault for the first time since she was six years old. Her hood fell back from her hair, her pontytail came undone and sand got behind her ears, but she actually did it! She'd feel proud if the maneuver hadn't scared the crap out of her, and if the crash of the anubisath's foot behind her hadn't been conspicuously absent.

"Shadow!" she hissed, running even further without looking back when she realized that the construct had predicted her movement. A rush of air over her head caused her to shriek, panic overriding logic when she found no recourse. "Nooo get off me!"

The limb that flung her to the ground was much smaller than a giant anubisath foot, and much gentler in retrospect. Landing face down and directly on her solar plexus, she felt the wind got knocked right out of her along with the associated lightheaded feeling as she unsuccessfully tried to breathe. But the fact that she was even able to think that far was an indication that she wasn't dead quite yet.

"Get back!" grunted Runa in a much more strained voice than Zulgha could ever remember hearing.

After crawling a few yards away, the orc turned around to find out exactly how she'd avoided imminent death. If there ever was a time where she might consider that just maybe she was too hard on Runa, it was then. Pressing down with all of its might, the anubisath was stomping downward on the val'kyr with its foot. The brittle giant was really leveraging the entirety of its weight, forcing Runa down to one muscular knee as she carried its foot on her shoulders like a disgustingly perfect sculpture project in someone's art class. She was pinned down, she was immobilized, she was carrying the weight of a thirty foot tall chunk of volcanic rock on her shoulders.

And she. Was. **Holding**.

"A little help!" Runa squeaked from between grit teeth, obviously not enjoying being stepped on too much. The anubisath narrowed its artificial eyes as if it felt irritated, and tried pressing its foot even harder only to find that Runa was the immovable object to its unstoppable force.

 _Think fast_. "Rahotepa!" Zulgha yelled without any forethought, "cover its eyes!"

She couldn't even see the others and was taking a gamble that the group's own resident chunk of volcanic rock could here her, but they'd been ambushed without any warning the first few seconds that they'd been inside, and she was struggling to come up with ideas. Fortunately, a sort of plan started to form as the second random, unplanned step fell into place.

"Stop it! Stop it right now!" Rahotepa cried in a rather unintimidating fashion as she swooped down from behind the anubisath, landed on its head and covered its eyes with her hands.

Though it easily carried her entire body on its head, the construct didn't appear to enjoy having its eyes covered _at all_ , and it immediately started to buffet Rahotepa with its handless stumps. She slipped and slid, barely managing to cling to its jackal-like head as Runa finally gained some wiggling room and lifted her knee from the ground.

Now that she was standing, cogent and almost able to breathe, Zulgha was able to start thinking. She couldn't hurt the target herself, but she was able to strategize while the others couldn't. Inspecting the anubisath from head to toe, she tried to find an opening, anything, that would help them to bring the giant down. Jumping back to all the random, unrelated books she read every week, she ran a few math equations through her head as she estimated the construct's dimensions, age and weak points. Bursting out in a series of imaginary numbers and variables, an answer popped out in her mind, but it unfortunately depended on the least dependable person in the group.

"Finneas! Your electrodes!" Zulgha yelled out, unsure of where exactly the man was. "Zap the big cracks in the back of its knees!"

With Rahotepa flapping around on the anubisath's head and Runa pushing back against its crushing stomp, the construct was shifted just enough for the grinding sound emanating from the back of its knees to reach Zulgha's ears. Tiny black pebbles and dust popped out from the cracks, implying deep structural damage to that portion that might contain air pockets. If Finneas' ability to electrocute the surface cracks could heat up the air pockets inside, then maybe - just maybe - they'd explode. At least, according to a random paragraph she'd once read a year ago.

Unfortunately, there wasn't exactly time to explain that to the most uncouth member of Dr. Bunsenburger's operation.

"That's a waste of time," he replied from somewhere behind the huge construct. The casual tone of his voice came off as pompous and self-assured, enraging Zulgha at a time when she was already panicking almost as much as Rahotepa.

"Damnit Finneas, it isn't a waste of time - just do it! Quickly!"

"No, I'm not going to do anything that will end up at a dead end," he replied again, sounding like the sort of inept know-it-all that everybody in an office hated. "This thing is made of solid rock, the elements won't hurt it."

"I swear to shadow, you'd better do this or you'll get killed too! Just shut up and do it!"

"I'm sorry, but you're not the boss of me."

"What! Arrgggh! You son of a bitch, I'm the task commander for this quest!" Zulgha screeched back, running around the anubisath as she tried to find where exactly Finneas was in the dust cloud that had been kicked up.

"Any time now!" Runa wheezed.

"Finneas, I'm the boss until we're back on the boat, now do this or I'm telling the elves outside that you killed the goblin!"

"Then _I'm_ telling them that _you_ killed the goblin, so there."

His final retort revealed his position in the dust, literally standing a yard away from the anubisath's calves. Finneas was already in perfect position to shock the back of the brittle construct's legs and was simply refusing to do so just to be a jerk. Without arguing further, Zulgha snuck up behind him and kicked him in the ass as hard as she could.

"What the hell!" Finneas shouted as he fell forward. As a sort of spastic dickhead reaction, the prosthetic metal claw which had replaced his left arm lit up with lightning, causing his chest to glow blue beneath his jacket. A bolt arced out of his metal claw inadvertently, striking the very back of the anubisath's knee.

With a crackle and a pop from Finneas, a scream and flap from Rahotepa and a heave and a grunt from Runa, the anubisath swayed to one side. Rahotepa was flung out of Zulgha's view but she'd imbalanced its head so much that it began to tip over. The movement put too much strain on its already brittle and damaged legs, chipping off long lack shards at the same moment that a minor explosion burst from the construct's knee. Rock snapped and crumbled as both joints broke apart, leaving the anubisath's feet and shins to remain standing upright while its upper body, thighs still attached, slammed down into the sand.

Causing a vibration violent enough to make Zulgha stumble once more, the huge crash sent a cloud of dust flying just after she protected her eyes with her hood. Finneas screamed every cuss word in Common as a crumpling sound was heard, probably due to his being crushed by the falling anubisath, and then all was still.

Being an obsidian construct herself, Rahotepa galloped over to the others without covering her own eyes, her body's artificial nature protecting her. "We did it! We did it! Shadow, I can't believe we did it!" the destroyer cheered while hugging Zulgha.

" _I_ did it, you all just helped!" Finneas growled from beneath the anubisath's broken thighs. "Now get this thing off of me!"

With her helmet laying on the ground somewhere, Runa's blue eyes were visible, revealing a rather indignant expression. "Bearing the brunt of that thing's weight is a little more than helping," Runa replied, falling to one knee again since apparently even partially incorporeal ghosts could feel fatigue.

"I agree with you for once," Zulgha said, patting the val'kyr on the back. "Seriously though, what the hell was that all about?"

Once the smoke cleared, Zulgha got a good look at the results. The ground had already been blighted, turning the sand an even darker color than the stone skin of Rahotepa and the anubisath. The feet and shins were as tall as Runa when standing, like two pillars erected in monument of the ambush they'd thwarted. The fall had damaged the anubisath even further, cracking its torso deeply and leaving its eyes without light. It was almost like one of Bunsenburger's miniature anubisath idols, except huge and murderous.

Speaking of murderous...

"I hate it when that happens."

All four of them screamed when the goblin spoke up, his voice sounding off right in the middle of all of them. Still stained in blood and rather bruised up, the goblin warlock didn't even react to their obvious shock at seeing him there.

"What the...you died!" Rahotepa stammered. "And you're not undead!"

Shrugging as if it weren't a big deal, the goblin flicked his fingers and caused a small demonic rune to float in the air for a moment. "It's called a soul stone, sweetheart; everybody gets one," he replied jovially, though he winced in pain as he smiled. "It certainly isn't a pleasant experience, but it protects from stuff like getting squashed by giant, pre-Titan monstrosities."

"Well, I'm glad you're not dead. I would have felt bad if you got killed literally the second we walked in," Zulgha joked, calming down a bit once she understood how he'd survived.

"Meh, I wouldn't be the first. The blockade was put here specifically because people come in here thinking that the place is safe because C'thun is dead and the qiraji are extinct, but they don't realize that there's still stuff lurking around in here." The goblin the turned around and pointed back toward the barricaded entrance perhaps ten yards bend them. "Those guards who let us in here? I guarantee you that they heard everything that happened and didn't consider helping. That's how used they are to noobs coming in here and getting wiped."

"We're not noobs, this thing tricked us!" Finneas grumbled, still pinned beneath the broken rock monster.

"Well, we'll have to be more careful in here...if the survivors among these things are smart enough to launch sneak attacks like that, then there might be more lurking around."

The goblin shot Zulgha a puzzled expression. "Say, what is it that you're all looking for, anyway? You don't seem like the typical overgeared twinks that haunt this place."

"You helped us out, so I'll let you in on a secret. We were sent here by our employer to find an ultra rare drop that he wants. See, he has anubisath idols for pet battles, but he's the kind of eccentric genius that is willing to pay for an extra special idol. One that was photographed here." After fishing around in the pockets of her robe, Zulgha found the evidence. "Somebody used one of those gnome cameras to snap this. Apparently, there's a miniature horusath idol somewhere around here."

Dismayed beyond reason, the goblin slapped his forehead. "You're joking!"

"You've seen it?" Zulgha asked, her eyes lighting up. "Do you know where it is?"

"Lady, I dealt with that little squirt two months ago. It was dragged out by a fury warrior from Menethil Harbor running a guild enrollment dare that went wrong; he was the sole survivor and came out more than a little crazy. He kept talking about..." The goblin dropped his eyelids and raised his shoulders like a typical dumb back alley porter. "The horror...the horror...it's so annoying, I can't take it anymore."

"Sir, where is the idol now? You said you dealt with it two months ago," Runa said, kneeling down to speak at the goblin's level.

"I'm getting to that part. The guy was clearly messed up so the dwarves here took him back home for treatment. He left the idol with us and boy, was that thing a little ended up locking it in a trunk in the store house and it's been there ever since."

"Well, that solves everything!" Zulgha laughed, almost ready to cry at how they'd just almost been killed for no reason. "Look, we owe you for getting us past security, but we'll cut an extra deal for that battle pet, too."

"You mean I got stomped on for nothing?" Runa said, frowning like the disappointed bear druid.

Widening his eyes as if he was drowsy and needed coffee, the goblin blew air out of his cheeks. "Look sis, I know this is weird coming from one of my people, but... _take_ that freaking thing. Please. Just take it for free and get it away from here. I've had enough headaches already."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Zulgha asked suspiciously.

"It's just a piece of crap. We thought it was cute at first, running around the blockade here like it owned the place, but eventually it felt like supervising your boss' nephew. But I mean, if you really _want_ to take it, be my guest."

Mulling the matter over in her head, Zulgha didn't find much room for free choice. "Our employer sent us all the way here from Lordaeron; we can't show up empty handed," she sighed, brushing the last grains of sand from her robes. "We'll take it off your hands either way. I'm sure a stone doll won't be too much for us to handle if we keep it locked up."

"Yeah, well, do yourself a favor and don't even let it out of the chest we locked it in," the goblin replied before pausing and glancing back at the door. "Hey, it's getting late. You can probably set your tent up in the area where we let travelers stay, but we probably shouldn't hang out in here any longer than we need to."

"That makes sense. Rahotepa, Runa, let's get going." Both the destroyer and the val'kyr began following her and the goblin out, leaving Finneas trapped beneath the broken anubisath.

"I'm still stuck under this thing! Come on, I need a little help!" he shouted after them.

"I think I hear a mosquito buzzing somewhere," Zulgha laughed goer her shoulder.

Rahotepa seemed confused at first, but quickly get the joke. "A mosquito? Oh...ha ha, yeah, or maybe a really loud hissing cockroach!"

Ever sincere to the point of naïveté, Runa looked back at Finneas through her eyeless helmet as Zulgha tried to drag her to the barricaded door. "But Finneas isn't an insect, he's a mammal like-"

"Sorry, that name sounds like persona non grata to me. Come on, let's go, I'm still mortal and I need to sleep!"

"Zulgha, this isn't funny! There might be more of these things in here!"

The guards opened the doors upon hearing the goblin knock, shutting them again once the group had exited. After a grueling exercise in futility, they'd need to rest up for a while; they'd have a long trip ahead of them transporting the little idol that thought it was the boss of everyone.


	4. Chapter 4

Just beyond the final tent full of civilian laborers, Zulgha put the finishing touches on their tent. It was spacious enough since she was the only one who used it; none of her three traveling companions technically needed to sleep, though they could force themselves into a dream-like state if they wanted to. They hadn't elected to do so during their trek across Tanaris and Silithus and over Ungoro due to the dangers lurking around every sand dune, though for once they were in a safe place. She was expecting the others to arrive any minute, though she was seriously hoping that if Finneas had gotten out of Ahn Qiraj already, he wouldn't want to toss his undead body onto one of the bed rolls.

She stood at the open tent flap and surveyed her work. In addition to two bedrolls and a mat for Rahotepa, Zulgha had set up a low table for her travel log, a few magazines and a fold-out clothing rack manufactured by some Dwarven company at the Port of Stormwind called Ikeo. It was the same exact setup they used during the trip on the way there, but somehow it looked just a little bit more comfortable now that they knew where their targeted item drop was and, you know, they weren't being stepped on by sneaky automatons. Taking a deep breath, she waited for a moment in the early evening darkness, listening to the sound of a medium-sized wooden trunk being dragged in the sand.

Turning around, she found Runa pulling an aged wooden chest next to the goblin warlock, who looked rather proud of himself. He'd already been paid for guiding them inside the ruins, so his demeanor wasn't surprising. "Well, here it is, in all its ignominy," he chuckled once Runa stopped. He patted the weathered surface of the chest as if he was selling a used ox-driven cart. "There's no actual key; you just pull this latch in order to lock it shut. Just keep an eye on it when you're on your boat ride back to Lordaeron so nobody tries to steal from you and you'll be fine."

"Sir, I don't know how to thank you. I can't imagine how pissed off id be if we'd fought all the way through the ruins only to find that this thing was out here at the blockade the entire time." Zulgha shook the tiny man's hand and then nudged the chest inside the tent with her foot. "So that concludes our business, then?"

"Please, that thing is all yours." At first, the goblin's eyes widened as if he was having a flashback, but he quickly caught himself and forced a salesman's smile. "But hey, maybe you'll have better luck. Pleasure doing business with you!"

"You too!" Zulgha and Runa both said as the man hurried away, though only Runa said "jinx" afterward, letting a confused noise out of her nose when she turned and found that Zulgha was already inside of the tent and unwilling to high five her.

Laying the chest in between the two bedrolls, Zulgha clapped her hands once in order to automatically dim the lighting on the haunted lantern at the head of the tent. With a sufficiently low level of darkness, she sat down on her bedroll and waited for Runa to float in behind her. They'd accomplished their main goal, but she also had a lot of sleep to catch up on and would need to tie a few loose ends prior to enjoying a good nine (or ten) hours of sleep.

Runa floated in behind her, looking a bit pensive, though at that point Zulgha was too tired to pretend to care. "So I heard from some of the laborers that Finneas eventually got out?" the orc asked, simply wanting to confirm that she wouldn't need to enter the ruins again and save his sorry ass.

"Yes, eventually the guards grew weary of listening to his complaints," the val'kyr replied, her dialect as antiquated as her accent. "Rahotepa entered during the fray..."

Zulgha's heart sank. "Oh shadow, no! Did they go in to save her?"

"There was no need; she entered on her own volition when her real reason for coming along on this quest revealed itself." There was a hint of a smile on Runa's black lips that she probably thought was sly, but Zulgha just found it frustrating. When she realized that the orc was glaring at her, Runa continued. "One of the local Qiraji obsidian destroyers was stalking not much further than the anubisath we defeated. And, well, it was a strapping male-"

"Stop, good hellfire and brimstone just stop right there," Zulgha interrupted, trying to shove the mental images out of her head. "Did anybody see her come back out?"

"Yes, she exited and fell asleep near a pile of rope and a crate full of trash bags. By the looks of her, she's going to be sleeping for a very long time-"

"Okay, enough of that. Is Finneas sufficiently distracted that he won't come here to the tent?"

"The answer to that question is also a yes; apparently, the undead warlock is equally disgruntled and dissatisfied with life after life, and they're walking around the blockade commiserating and throwing rocks at the stray cats."

"Ha ha, yeah, that sounds like Finneas." Ignoring Runa's disappointing frown at the violation of animal rights, Zulgha pulled her pajamas out of her bedroll. "Well anyway, if you don't mind, I'll need to get some rest, seeing as how we mortals need sleep. If you could give me nine-ten, ten hours-"

"Many of the undead can sleep too! We can enter a dreamlike state whereby we lay unconscious and remember our lives past. In fact, since nobody else is here on this bedroll, I thought we might bunk together. After all, I've been on watch while Rahotepa was in the tent all across the desert..." There was a hopeful glint in Runa's annoyingly spotless smile; unlike Finneas, she still understood that Bunsenburger had appointed Zulgha as party leader for the quest.

Unable to reasonably reject the request despite really not wanting to fall into the chat trap with one of her least favorite people, Zulgha relented. "Fine, whatever, just don't snore or anything."

"I can sleep, but I don't snore because I don't breathe," Runa replied in an unassuming know-it-all tone that made Zulgha want to punch her all the same.

Laying down on her side of the tent, Zulgha slipped out of her black robe and started putting on her pajamas while underneath the bedroll. The oddly echoing sound of ethereal metal hitting the floor alerted her to the sight of Runa taking everything off before she quickly looked away.

"Runa what the hell! At least conjure some ghostly pajamas or something!"

Sincere as always, the val'kyr pretended like it wasn't supremely awkward or inappropriate. "In Northrend, everybody sleeps like this," she replied, removing the rest of her armor and everything underndeath it before laying down with only her wings folded around herself as a blanket.

"Freak," Zulgha grumbled while rolling onto her other side and facing the other way to sleep.

True to her word, Runa didn't snore, and within minutes the faint sounds of the night watch at the blockade began to drift away. Zulgha did as well, opening and closing her eyes as drowsiness took over, leading her toward a good night's sleep now that her task had been accomplished.

Until something began banging on the inside of the treasure chest.

 _Whump whump whump whump whump_

Eyes shooting open at lightning speed, Zulgha almost thought that she was back in Brill with one of the ghoul's knocking on her door to wake her up. She was still in the tent, though, wondering if she'd really heard what she thought she'd heard.

For a minute or so she waited, wondering if she'd imagined the sound or not. Eventually sleep overtook her again, the still desert sands providing an almost perfect environment for deep slumber on a windless night.

 _Whump whump whump whump whump_

The banging was angry and forceful, like a crotchety old man complaining to a neighbor about all that racket. This time Zulgha knew that it was real, and quietly whined to herself as she rolled over and decided to figure out what was going on. All seemed at peace in the tent, and indeed even the treasure chest hadn't moved. It was obviously the source of the sound, however, and she didn't want to be woken up for a third time after trying to just ignore it.

Taking a deep breath, Zulgha sat up cross legged and rugged her eyes with one hand while rotating the chest to face her with the other. What sounded like stone rattled inside, as if reminding her that the contents were waiting on her to open them up. Mustering all the patience she could, she flicked the lock and opened the container.

Inside was a small pillow, some loose change, a broken soup ladle, lots of bubble wrap and the prize. As blue and realistic as the photograph she'd seen, there laid the horusath idol, the object of their quest. It couldn't have been more than two feet tall, probably even less, but was as functional as the giant versions she'd seen. Without even being told, the idol stood up and blinked, looking as dazed as she was.

Not knowing what else to do but wanting to usher the oversized doll back to a resting state, Zulgha forced herself to flash her gummy smile. "Hey," she practically yawned. "Hey little guy. How do you like your new surroundings?"

Whether the idol understood Common or not, it twisted its torso and inspected the tent. Its birdlike face gave away little in the way of emotion or reaction, but there seemed to be a sense of wonderment about it.

"We're your new family. Lots of people are waiting to see you in your new home. Isn't that something?" Zulgha yawned wide, covering her mouth and reminding herself to keep the introduction short. "So listen, we have a big day tomorrow, or maybe after tomorrrow, so we need to..."

And then, right when she was in the middle of her sentence, the idol turned around and started to walk toward the tent flap.

 _Oh hell no, don't even start_ , she grumbled to herself internally. "Okay, **okay** ," she said as she took the idol under the armpits and lifted it back over to her like a child, emphasizing it the second time when the toy appeared to be ignoring her. "Don't worry, we'll get going eventually, but after we rest first." The idol turned around to look at her, blinking again as if confused. "We're going to lay down like this, right? Then tomorrow I promise we can go."

For a few seconds the idol just stared at her, as if it was fighting to comprehend her words. She didn't know its exact origins and what languages it would understand, but she didn't speak Titan and there was no greater chance of it knowing Orcish than Common, so she just tried to explain the situation the best she could in her second, but primary, language.

"Do you understand?" she asked politely.

And then the idol started to walk toward the tent flap again.

"No...come here - **no** ," she said, speaking more firmly when it tried to wiggle out of her arms. "I'm sorry if this is confusing for you, okay?" She rotated the idol to face her again, leaning down low to appear closer and more sincere. "I'm sorry. It must be tough for you, to wake up into the world like this. But really-"

And then the horusath idol bitch slapped Zulgha right across the face.

"What the fuck!"

If she hadn't been awake previously, she certainly was now. The bitch slap didn't actually hurt; the idol was made from stone, but its palm was about the diameter of a large gold coin, and it was only as strong as a two-foot-tall mechanical doll was expected to be. It was more the insolence, and the unexpected nature of the violence. And the way it growled at her afterwards.

"You insolent little shit!" she exclaimed, the proverbial gloves off.

Squaring its tiny shoulders, the idol held its ground, not moving to strike again but puffing its chest up as if it were defending territory. The way it narrowed its eyes at her spoke the universal language of 'you want some of this' and she got the distinct impression that the little battle pet actually wanted to battle.

"Listen here you overgrown plaything, **I'm** the one in charge. So you're going to get in _there_ ," she said while stuffing the idol back into the chest, "and _shut_ your _face_." Slamming the lid shut and locking it, she rubbed her eyes again, trying to take in what just happened. Her heart rate was so high that she feared she wouldn't sleep easily, and without wasting time, she laid back down again.

"Ingrate," she grumbled while closing her eyes and trying to rest.

Unfortnately, she forgot that the horusath idol was shut inside of the treasure chest with an ample supply of Bilgewater bubble wrap.

 _Pop_

"No..." she groaned.

 _Pop pop pop_

"Oh fuck you, no."

 _Pop pop pop pop pop pop_

"You little kobold's asshole, cut it out!"

 _Pop pop pop pop whump pop pop pop pop pop whump whump whump pop pop pop whump pop whump pop_

"Rrrraa!" Zulgha growled while sitting up again. Her sleep quickly escaping her, she started to bunch up the nearest article of clothing she could find on the floor of the tent. Grabbing the latch to the chest, she scooted over to ambush the idol. "I'm going to stuff that thing with so much fabric that you won't be able to move - oh you little bastard!"

The moment that Zulgha started to open the lid, the idol pulled it back down from the inside, smashing her fingertips in between the lid and the rim of the chest. The split second reaction whereby she retracted her hand was enough for the idol to bust out, allowing it to bolt for the tent flap.

"No!" she screeched while unsuccessfully leaping across the tent floor, falling just short as it escaped.

Her sleep gone, she blinked away the salty discharge from her eyes and grabbed her shoes. Once she stood up and tried to wear them, she stumbled from drowsiness and nearly tripped over Runa's wings.

"Damnit, Runa," Zulgha grumbled while tripping over to the tent flap...and then she heard the absolute _last_ thing she wanted to hear in a camp full of unfriendly strangers.

" **Fire**!" yelled the voice of a Dwarven woman Zulgha remembered as one of the Argent Crusaders. "Someone knocked the lantern over in the ammunition tent!"

For what felt like an eternity, Zulgha just paused at the tent flap before shooting into action. Wearing her pumps with her faded pajamas with holes in the shirt, she started running in between the tents of the camp, searching for the smell of burning lamp oil. A number of the security forces were running back and forth, carrying meager waterskins and empty buckets as they appeared to be preparing for the worst.

Behind the ammunition tent, she found her target already dragging a sack full of gunpowder out from beneath a tent. The book of pilfered matches laying in the sand nearby told Zulgha all she needed to know about its fundamental nature.

"I've got you, you son of a bitch!" she snarled as she snatched up the idol. Before it could even see who it was, it tried applying a hold to the well-known pressure point between the thumb and index finger on Zulgha, enflaming her even more. "You have absolutely no respect for anybody, do you hear me?" she scolded the defiant doll.

From the other side of the tent, in the well-lighted space in the middle of a number of official tents, the disappointed druid from earlier in the day was apparently passing judgment. "I knew we shouldn't have let those necromancy fetishists in here," he lamented in a noble sounding voice despite the way it caused Zulgha to freeze and hold still in the dark alley between tents. "Sweep the perimeter; I want all four of them detained for questioning."

"Oh you son of a...oh, you really screwed up!" she whispered while sneaking away from the main area of tents with the idol, no longer concerned with whether it could understand her or not. Hurrying back to their tent, Zulgha was grateful to find Runa awake and at least halfway dressed inside.

"About what is all the commotion?" Runa asked, almost pushing Zulgha into a rage at the val'kyr's refusal to end a sentence with a preposition.

She held up the idol as if it was a piece of evidence. "This little miscreant just-"

 _Ka-boooom_

The gunpowder ignited just when Zulgha realized that the match book was empty and the idol had lit all the matches and dropped them without her noticing. The explosion was deafening, and they could see the lights of the fire through the canvas of their tent. Battle cries of sentinels and panicked screams of laborers rang out as a second explosion rocked the camp, though there was no time to wonder just how many barrels of gunpowder there were in the ammunition tent.

For the first time, Zulgha actually saw Runa looked scared. "What in the world is happen-"

"RUN BITCH RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" Zulgha screamed while grabbing her robe from the floor and shoving her books inside. "THEY'RE AFTER US!"

Not even waiting for Runa to finish donning her armor, Zulgha ran out, carrying her books in her robes like a sling and ignoring the idol as it pinched and kicked at her. Running straight beyond the last unconnected walls of the camp, she entered the desert, glancing all around until she saw Rahotepa predictably fleeing as well. The obsidian destroyer didn't notice Zulgha at first, and they both continued fleeing straight into the desert until the former noticed the latter.

"Zulgha I heard an explosion and I was trying to sleep and I got scared!" Rahotepa said way too fast as she swooped down to give Zulgha a ride on her back. "What's going on!"

"Just fly, I'll explain everything later!"

Thankfully, Rahotepa actually took direction well and gained altitude without looking back. Zulgha did, watching the outline of Runa trying to catch up with them even if it meant her braids came undone and messy in the wind. Far behind even Runa, the outline of Finneas could be seen in front of a mob of purple elves and pink and brown humans. Every few seconds the night crackled with blue light as he shot electricity at his pursuers and then waved his hands for the three others to wait for him.

Which Zulgha would do eventually. Maybe. Only if he couldn't fight the angry mob off by himself. Otherwise, he'd have a long walk across two deserts as they tried to return to Gadgetzan with the worst quest drop ever.


	5. Chapter 5

After a week of laborious, frequently interrupted travel across two deserts and straight over an enormous crater again, the group had reached their destination. They had to avoid not only all Cenarion Circle camps but also any smaller outposts where there might be druids or Argent Crusaders stationed just in case word had spread already. The first few nights had been the roughest: they had to tie the idol up with leather strips just to keep it still. It would never actually try to escape; it would simply run a good distance away, pelt them with rocks and sand, run further back when they chased it, and repeat.

Eventually, though, they happened upon a camp of caravan raiders in the dunes of eastern Silithus. Since nobody on Azeroth was likely to miss such people, Zulgha and the others "appropriated" a decent amount of supplies. They were able not only able to eat, drink and rest comfortably, but they also "found" a crate of empty drinking glasses that they emptied out, stuffed with appropriated raider pants and used to contain the insufferable horusath idol. Although they were finally able to travel in peace, all of them had also tired of the whole trip, and they wasted no time returning to Gadgetzan.

Outside the city walls, they waited in line as patiently as they could, though Finneas didn't make things any easier by having an attitude with the Steamwheedle officials who were checking ID before allowing anyone entrance to the city.

"I've had it with all of these ID checks!" the undead human complained rather indignantly to an uninterested Steamwheedle clerk at the west entrance to the city. "I've been traveling for weeks and all I ever find are delays, delays, delays!"

Not the least bit concerned, the well-dressed goblin official (overdressed, considering the heat) merely shrugged and folded his arms over his chest. "It doesn't matter whether you like it or not. It doesn't matter what your special case is. The cartel isn't interested in your personal-"

"It's not right!" Finneas said while shaking the fist of his non-metal hand.

"Sir, calm down. The rules aren't going to change for you. There isn't going to be any sort of an exception based on what you say. Now if you don't mind, you're holding up the line..."

As Finneas ranted, the uninterested goblin stonewalled, and the people in line began to complain, Zulgha pulled her hood over her head and pretended not to know him. She and the others had joined a different line of people waiting outside the city walls entirely by accident due to crowding, though she was rather thankful that she didn't have to be associated with the obnoxious stranger transferring his own personal problem onto everyone around him. The greatest irony was that Finneas kept multiple forms of valid identification up to date and was able to just end the situation at any time if he would only flash one of his various documents and be on his grumpy way. Of course, that was the least likely thing for him to actually do, and Zulgha just hoped he'd grow tired of upsetting anyone in his general vicinity in time to catch up with them for the boat trip back to Lordaeron.

Speaking of which, Zulgha noticed the line move and nudged the crate forward in the sand. For legal purposes, they'd be able to pass through Steamwheedle security if Rahotepa registered as a mount rather than a person, and thankfully agreeing to do what helped everybody around her was the most likely thing for the obsidian destroyer to do. She'd even allowed Zulgha to strap the appropriated travel bags onto her back like a pack animal since the bruisers often inspected the travel bags carried by adventurers more than simple saddle bags on a 'mount.' Runa had a weird sort of spectral ID cars that Lady Sylvanas required all of the numerous lesser val'kyr to carry at all times, though the cartel employees probably didn't know anything about that and Zulgha's plan was to try to pass Runa off as an undead minion at first. Anything to jump past the line and, at the peak of all irony, get _back onto_ a goblin passenger ship.

Once the group of blood elven traders ahead of them were admitted, it was their turn, and Zulgha stepped forward and pulled her hood back only enough to allow a small bit of her face to show. She felt nervous, but the official at the head of their line - a curious little man who looked like a goblin-gnome halfbreed - appeared unsurprised by them.

"Forsaken, right? Nice winged guardian you got there, my nephew has one of those." Without even looking up at Rahotepa after his obvious factual error, the official merely inspected the single ID card in his hands. "Alright, Zulgha of the Frostwolves...wait a minute, you're not undead."

"I'm an acolyte," she chuckled, trying to pass off her nervous laughter as congenial flattery. "Aspiring necromancer. Most of us tend to lean toward Undercity rather than Orgrimmar."

"Hmm, interesting," the little man replied politely, though he obviously wasn't interested at all.

Handing the card back to Zulgha, he began to eyeball Runa. Immediately the val'kyr stood of straight and struck a heroic pose while trying to appear as if she wasn't striking a pose. The pretentious display made Zulgha want to slap her, but she repressed the urge and flashed her gummy smile. "That's Runa, she's a minion under my command. She's not totally sentient, so she won't really answer any questions well."

That Zulgha was only half fibbing seemed to hurt Runa's feelings, causing the val'kyr to frown in disappointment. A bruiser bodyguard next to the halfbreed official started to give the group a suspicious stare which he didn't attempt to conceal. His charge, however, seemed ready to keep the line moving.

"Alright then, your papers are all in order. The only task left is to check that case of yours."

All three of them froze. "Um...it's mostly just used pants and a toy," Zulgha said, trying to flash the innocent eyes at the customs official. Unfortunately, the little man didn't seem willing to budge on the last item on his checklist.

"Then it will only take a second for me to look inside. You can open it yourself, but I need to see."

Since Runa was still pouting and Rahotepa had to pretend that she couldn't talk, Zulgha was left standing quiet and reluctant for a few seconds. Only when the bruiser cleared his throat did she reach for the case. A number of worst case scenarios floated through her mind, but in the absence of any recourse, she relented and began to slowly open the crate. The best she could do was explain to them that the battle pet was a little rowdy and it wouldn't be safe for her to open the crate all the way-

"It's not moving?" she blurted out in confusion.

Sure enough, the horusath idol laid lifeless among all the pants and other objects functioning as padding. She opened the crate wide, holding her free hand above the idol's chest in anticipation of its impending escape attempt, but no such action occurred.

"Cute toy. Alright, you're all clear, welcome to Gadgetzan. NEXT."

All that had transpired seemed to disappear from the mind of the halfbreed customs official, the end group of travelers adopting all of his focus and scrutiny. The bruiser didn't have to snap his fingers twice, and Zulgha promptly shut the crate and hurried inside the city walls. Finneas seemed to notice their entry, and she could see him waving to her in her peripheral vision, which only made her run inside of the city even faster to avoid being associated with him.

"Wait! I'm with them, I know them!" Finneas shouted from outside the city walls.

"Come on buddy, my kids are thirsty," replied the voice of a traveling father, race indiscernible, in addition to a cacophony of other people complaining.

"Sir, look, bottom line, you show me some ID or you don't go inside-"

"I already showed ID!"

"Sir, other cities don't count."

The argument soon died away as Zulgha deftly wove in and out of the crowd of traveling merchants and local craftspeople, putting as much space between herself and the main gate as she could. It was a shame that on both that day and the first time they had passed through Gadgetzan, she wouldn't have any time to actually explore the city. It was a curious mass of adobe structures, some of them two or even three stories high, abuzz with excitement and wonderment despite the arid locale. It was similar to Mudsprocket in terms of diversity, but with a different array of colors, languages and body types inhabiting it. Ever since the Cataclysm, Gadgetzan also featured a sizeable port made possible by the loss of land at the coast, and she could already see the sails of the larger trading ships rising above the skyline of the mud city. They'd already spent too much time abroad, so they'd need to book their tickets on the next available passenger ship they could find.

Rahotepa was keeping step next to her, silent aside from the clinking of the saddle bags as she delivered an award-winning performance as a flying mount. Foot traffic was relatively light and they were more or less in the clear, with only another long trip by sea ahead of them. Seeing as how they'd achieved their goal, the weeks and weeks they'd spend on a boat didn't seem to bad anymore.

Zulgha didn't notice that their third member was trailing behind them until she heard Runa clearing her throat behind them.

"Yeah, what's going on?" Zulgha asked without turning back, still trying to keep distance and structures between them and Finneas until he stopped throwing his adult temper tantrum in public.

Unsatisfied with the lackadaisical response, Runa cleared her threat again. Zulgha groaned as she slowed down, turning around to see the val'kyr standing on the ground, wings folded and hands aplomb. "I'm upset," Runa stated tersely, though it was the sort of beckoning brusqueness of a person who wanted to be asked for details.

"Runa, look, can we talk about this once we buy our tickets? We didn't reserve ahead of time and until we can secure a ride home, we're figuratively adrift out here."

"So we can go buy tickets so we can reserve a spot for a ride later so we can just not talk now so you can just forget about my concerns so we can pretend it didn't happen?" Runa replied.

Her words were spoken very carefully despite the awkward grammar from the group's resident grammar nazi. The odd speech was out of character since the val'kyr usually took her words and appearance so seriously, and the way her lips pursed and her nose twitched immediately gave Zulgha the scare of possible impending drama. "So we can just act like everything is fine so we can say whatever we want about other people?" Runa added, pursing her lips so tightly afterword that, were she not ghostly white, the action would probably have drained the color from her face.

With their final exit from the agonizingly long quest so close and all the fatigue of a long trip firmly pushing down on Zulgha's shoulders, the orc felt pressured and tested to the point of clenching her teeth briefly. That she'd managed to avoid dealing with Finneas' attitude felt like a minor miracle, and a much needed one considered how little of her patience remained. To have another member of the party experiencing some sort of an emotional episode when they were on the cusp of victory, and in public no less, was almost enough to cause Zulgha to toss the quest item aside, throw her hands in the air, return to Brill alone and empty handed and deal with the consequences thereafter.

Almost, but not quite. She still wasn't ready to damage her career over stress associated with long distance travel. Setting the crate and her handbag down in the sand, she gave the val'kyr her full attention in an attempt to diffuse and resolve the escalating situation as quickly as possible.

"Runa, look, I'm sorry about the comment at the gate. I just needed to convince them not to check your ID so we could get through the gate quicker. I didn't actually mean that you aren't sentient."

Immediately setting off alarm bells in Zulgha's mind, Runa reached up and removed her spirit warrior helmet and revealed the upper half of her face. Her expression was stoic, but it was obvious that she was trying too hard to appear as such. "Look me in the eye and tell me you didn't mean what you said at all, not even in part."

Zulgha opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out, and she felt like kicking herself. She could lie to security officials to skip waiting lines, she could lie to strangers if she needed to 'borrow' their personal belongings, but she couldn't lie to someone who she'd known for years. Not due to any sort of moral code, seeing as how Zulgha had no such concept; she just didn't have the habit of lying to people who would see right through her. And when she hesitated for a split second, she noticed a very subtle quiver in Runa's lip that scared her; waterworks seemed imminent.

Reaching forward and taking the only partially corporeal being by the wrist, Zulgha pulled Runa over to the side of an adobe hut, giving space to anybody who needed to pass by. The val'kyr followed, head hanging slightly but huddling close as if seeking reassurance. Zulgha was torn between frustration at yet more immature behavior from an adult and dread that perhaps she had gone too far and might even have to...she shuddered... _apologize_.

"I'm sorry, okay? It was a stupid thing to say and I'm sorry," Zulgha said in a low voice.

"You're so mean to me!" Runa shot back, just a little bit too loud for a private conversation. "I didn't ask to work with you all at Bunsenburger's lab. I'm a lesser val'kyr, the herald of one of Lady Sylvanas' nine greater val'kyr; I'm a sky warrior and bear the gift of a second chance to the fallen."

"Yes, I know Runa, I understand that there are other things you'd rather-"

"No, no, that's not what I'm saying, don't twist my words!" Runa said, her voice barely held steady but her jaw shaking.

"I didn't mean to, I was just trying to be an active listener!"

"I said I have been granted a gift, and I never asked to be assigned to your operation, but that doesn't mean I don't want to continue! I've had the time of my life since I've been with you all, going on quests instead of just raising minion after minion from dead Alliance farmers. I like where I've been placed, and I try so hard to do a good job, but you never let me feel comfortable! If we're alone then you ignore me, and if we're around the others you try to embarrass me!"

"Come on, Runa, that's not true."

"Yes it is true, all the time! You argue with Finneas like everyone else does, but you only make fun of me. If I make a mistake because I'm still new to my powers and life after death, you tell half of Brill by the next day. If I do a good job, you don't even acknowledge it. You didn't even thank me for saving you from that giant anubisath."

Instead of breaking down, Runa just withdrew, hanging her head low and holding still. For her part, Zulgha was stunned. She ran through the events in her mind, playing the awkward battle inside of Ahn Qiraj over and over again like a psychic recording as she tried to remember the specific moment when she thanked Runa and the remind the val'kyr. Except for one problem: she realized that Runa was right.

" **Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Gadgetzan Thunderdome!** " boomed the voice of a goblin man speaking Common over a loudspeaker. The amplifier was a relatively new form of technology, and Zulgha still wasn't used to hearing a voice echo across the sky unless it belonged to a giant or a dragon or something.

Ignoring the booming loudspeaker sounding off from the center of the city and all the people walking by and going about their business, Zulgha stepped closer to the crestfallen val'kyr. "Runa...you thought I wasn't grateful that you literally saved my life?" she asked, though her downcast travel companion didn't answer. For once, the orc actually did feel what other people might describe as guilt. "Runa...I'm so, so sorry, I didn't mean to disrespect you. I forgot, and I have no excuse for that. And yes, sometimes I'm a little mean but that's only because I'm..." Sighing deeply, Zulgha gave herself a figurative shove to confess to a fault, against her entire nature and personality. "I guess I'm a bit jealous."

" **I'm your host, Mr. Dealwell, and you're our guests here to see some blood! Are you ready?** "

For the entire crackling announcement, Runa just played with a pebble beneath her sandals, not at all her usual confidant, almost pretentiously noble and elegant self. "Why would you be jealous of me...you pick on me all the time."

"Why am I jealous of you? Come on Runa, look at you," Zulgha said, seeing no reason to hold back since she'd already made the confession. "I worked my ass off to learn even how to blight the ground, and I only recently learned how to summon a single floating blight pylon. At this rate, I won't be able to raise undead battalions or summon a whole necropolis for a decade, maybe. Then you come in to our group, blessed by the Dark Lady's personal winged protectors, freshly dead from Northrend and completely green in combat, yet you can already raise ghouls and zombies and most of them even stay animated for more than an hour. What I practice all day you have the talent to do after one try. I felt threatened so I guess maybe my reaction was to belittle you as a means of feeling better about my own progress."

" **Alright, without further ado, meet your champions for the first deathmatch!** "

Blue eyes suddenly turned glassy, though this time Runa didn't look upset. Her entire demeanor flipped after one mere confession, which was much easier than Zulgha had anticipated. Which was better for the orc anyway, since she generally wouldn't confess her inner feelings and shortcomings even to Rahotepa, whom she trusted, and could already feel herself starting to withdraw after opening up more than she was used to, to a person she did feel professionally threatened by, at a moment when she hadn't been prepared to do so at all.

"Do you really mean that?" Runa asked, looking Zulgha in the eye hopefully. The val'kyr was obviously more comfortable opening up, and with balancing the contradiction of being a fighter and adventurer while also being vulnerable. Zulgha, on the other hand, felt like she wasn't quite herself when being honest about feelings and things like that.

This time, however, she didn't hesitate (mainly so they could just be done with all the mushy personal stuff). "I really do, Runa. I do respect the work you do, and I'm thankful that you saved me from having to be reanimated so early in my life, but maybe I just use my ability to talk trash as a shield sometimes. I'm not going to change who I am, but I promise that I'll try to ease up and think about my words AGH!"

Runa squeezed Zulgha into a bear hug, catching her off guard and turning the tables by embarrassing the orc - if unintentionally - in public for once. Runa was an entire head and neck plus a little more taller, and her chestplate was made from thorium, and it still hurt even though it was half incorporeal. "I'm so happy to hear that!" the val'kyr hummed while crushing Zulgha's face against her armor.

" **At the blue pole, weighing in at a combined weight of five thousand pounds, is the Beast From the East, Terror of the Jade Forest, Dragon Warrior Ming and his mount, the Rhinotaur!** "

"Okay, okay, enough!" Zulgha squeaked as she struggled like a chubby-cheeked child in the clutches of an overly affectionate aunt. Runa put her down and smiled at her warmly, though Zulgha's moment of emotional clarity had already waned. "Okay, I'm happy that we're cool with each other, too. But I'm still going to poke fun at you sometimes because that's just who I am. Honestly, I wouldn't get mad if you just answered me right back."

"Oh! Yes, that would be fun!"

Interrupting their conversation, Rahotepa jumped right beside them, waving her arms frantically to get their attention. The obsidian destroyer was completely silent, still pretending to be a mount instead of a person, and began wiggling around in a motion sort of like the dance that bees do when they're trying to warn other bees about imminent danger. Glad to find a reason to get more serious and less touchy-feely again, Zulgha pulled Runa to listen to their other companion.

"Rahotepa, we're already past security. You can drop the act until we get to the docks."

Though the destroyer's stone features betrayed little emotion, the way her cheeks bunched up spoke of her panic. "I was trying to tell you, the idol was only pretending to be asleep and it jumped out of the crate while you two were talking but I lost it in the crowd!"

"Oh that little son of a bitch!" Zulgha burst out, scanning the area to confirm that their crate was laying open and some of the secondhand pants were strewn about. Kicking the crate over, she started to look around, finding only a sea of unconcerned travelers.

"We can't lose it now, it was the whole point of our quest!" Runa exclaimed, putting her helmet back on and flying a story up into the air to survey the city. "Oh, no, this is the worst case scenario!"

"Damnit, be specific-" Zulgha caught herself before dumping on Runa again and tried to be more polite. "What's the worst case scenario?" she asked frantically.

" **And at the red pole, weighing in as much as a modest bag of groceries, is a little miniature horusath that signed its name as Senõr Ramrod!** "


	6. Chapter 6

Zulgha jumped onto Rahotepa's back so fast that she almost slid off the other side. "Shit, shit, shit," she grumbled to herself, struggling to sit properly as the obsidian destroyer started to fly into the air.

Gadgetzan was a mess of circular adobe buildings and people wearing colorful clothes, assaulting Zulgha's eyes. Shaking her head, she looked in the direction that Rahotepa was flying, finding their target: a dome made from chicken wire and surrounded by arena seating. Between the links of the chickenwire, she could vaguely see an armored person sitting on top of a scaly mount, facing down a little blue dot on the opposite side of the cage. They actually weren't that far from the place, but at ground level it was impossible to see in the awesomely disorganized city.

At the front of what appeared to be an entrance tunnel also made of chickenwire, a modest group of people loitered. As Rahotepa drew near and began to descend, Zulgha could make out numerous goblin, gnome and gnoll officials as well as what appeared to be pit fighters stretching and preparing for upcoming battles. A bruiser noticed the duo's approach and jabbed his finger at them angrily.

"No flying within city limits!" the irate goblin snarled at them with an authority that a magnataur couldn't have mustered.

Without even turning to Zulgha for guidance, Rahotepa dropped down nervously and fell into a gallop. Zulgha was jarred and nearly flung from her friend's back, though thankfully she held on just until they reached the entrance. The bruiser blocked their way, and a goblin in a suit standing on top of a soap box began to eyeball them curiously.

"The signup sheet is over there," said the little man who must be Mr. Dealwell from the loudspeaker as he pointed to a booth with a few Steamwheedle workers counting coins. "You have to pay a cover charge if you want to get on the list."

"Wait, wait, you don't understand, our toy is in there!" Rahotepa cried, shocking everybody around with the fact that she was sentient as well as a bit flustered.

"You heard the man, sign up and wait your turn or hit the road," the bruiser said while stepping forward. Rahotepa backed up, clearly not prepared to argue with the stern little security guard.

"Sir, that horusath idol is our private property. It might have signed up but it isn't free to do so without our permission," Zulgha tried to explain as she nudged Rahotepa back. "We don't have an insurance policy on it, and if it's destroyed in your Thunderdome, your cartel will be held liable."

Unfortunately, not even Zulgha could lie well enough to swindle a cartel death merchant. "Liability, you say? The cartel legal counsel has an office down the road. If you want to make a claim, you can go file a report, but that has nothing to do with me. Now come on, miss, if you don't have official business with the dome security then I'll have to ask you to move along."

"What's this?" bellowed the extremely loud voice of a pandaren man from inside of the dome, much to the audience's delight. It was most certainly the 'Dragon Warrior Ming' that had been announced. "I've been set up to fight a _doll_? A children's play thing?"

Time was running out, and Zulgha became worried that the man known as Ming would lose patience and just smash their quest target. "Sir, by the time I could file a liability report, the fight would already be over, and you know that. There must be a means of settling this financially, whether it be by reimbursing the cartel for our property's entrance fee-"

"Sorry miss, but you must have us confused with the Venture Company," Mr. Dealwell said rather flippantly. "Steamwheedle doesn't accept bribes."

Zulgha grit her teeth, her panic over imminent quest failure whittling away her focus on bullshitting her way out of the situation. "It's not a bribe, it's...an insurance premium payback!"

"That's not a thing. You're just making up terms and hoping I'll give in, but Mr. Dealwell never gives in!" To punctuate his point, the goblin tapped his own chest like a smarmy idiot, demonstrating his stubborn resolve.

"Oh look, it's shaking its fists at me! The adorable doll wants to do fisticuffs!" shouted Ming from inside the dome, garnering a round of laughter from the crowd. They were just about out of time.

"Hhhhhhheeeeeeaaaaa!" Runa hissed in a loud, ethereal voice, blinding everybody with a flash of black and white energy.

Everyone dove to the ground as a reaction to the shining val'kyr flying right past them, granting her wide berth as she barreled straight into the steel doors of the dome's entrance. The metal hinges were ripped right off of the frame, echoing into the air as screws and wood splinters from parts of the door flew around. Runa herself appeared hurt by the foolhardy stunt, falling to the ground and stumbling back against the wire wall of the entrance tunnel when she tried to get back up.

With all the cartel officials and security confused and falling over each other, they had their opening. "Come on, come!" Zulgha yelled as she jumped up and tugged on Rahotepa's tail. She charged right into the dome, jumping over Runa as she did so and trusting that her two companions would follow behind her. Inside, she was treated to a sight that immediately made her wonder if the whole quest was a mistake.

Staring down the fearless horusath idol was the strangest dinosaur Zulgha had ever seen. It wasn't a thunder lizard, it wasn't a devilsaur, and it wasn't anything other than a dinosaur. However, the 'Rhinotaur' as it was called didn't look like any other dinosaur she'd seen in Pandaria picture books aside from the fact that it had four legs, a tail, and numerous spikes. There was no time to surmise on its specific breed, however, as the armor clad pandaren riding atop it brandished a lance at her.

"What's this? A first-year magic user wants to tag team with the little toy!" Ming cackled, once again causing laughter to erupt from the stands. People of all races were watching, eating popcorn and drinking as they cheered on the senseless form of entertainment.

There was no holding back at that point, no matter how much Zulgha wished she'd never found the stupid idol to begin with. "Don't call me a first-year, jackass!" she snarled at him, baring her canines even though she was kind of really scared of the dinosaur mount.

Haughty and proud, Ming didn't appear to enjoy being insulted at all. The smile disappeared from his face as he looked her over, popping his knuckles simply by gripping his lance tightly. "Sweet thing...you just made the worst mistake of your life," he said only loudly enough for her to hear.

Shaking the ground beneath her feet, the dinosaur began to charge. In instinct, she snatched up the idol and held it close. She'd never be able to protect it, plus she'd rather not die if it meant failing the quest, but there wasn't any time to think before the dinosaur was walking on Rahotepa-

"What the hell, get off of her!" Zulgha growled, shocked by how fast the obsidian destroyer had galloped inside, tried to intervene and been knocked down.

Lacking Runa's brute strength, Rahotepa had been pushed to the ground by the Rhinotaur's forelegs easily enough when she tried to charge it. Unlike Runa, however, Rahotepa was made of volcanic glass and wasn't actually hurt by the impact. If anything, holding her down appeared to hurt the soles of the dinosaur's feet, and it winced even as it kept her pinned down.

"You'll be sorry when you decide to let me up!" Rahotepa shouted, literal to a fault even when making threats. Her legs kicked in the dusty floor of the dome, unable to push her to the ground even as the dinosaur was unable to cause any damage to her.

"That's it," Zulgha snapped as she tossed the idol to the side wall of the dome.

Crouching slightly and placing her palm on the ground, she channeled her necromantic magic, blighting the area in anticipation of a tough fight. The dust turned black at first, and then expanded like dry mud, turning the floor of the whole arena dark. Ethereal trails of smoke such a dark shade of violet that they were almost black smoldered, tainting the area with undeath. Members of the audience gasped in awe, and Ming's attention was finally drawn away from Rahotepa.

Upper lip stiff, the pandaren waited, taking his time and displaying no hint of intimidation. Finally, he hefted his lance, holding it like a spear in an obvious challenge.

Ming was no anubisath construct, however; his flesh was just as susceptible to Zulgha's curses as any other living, organic being. "Bring it!" she shouted, accepting the challenge.

Ming lowered his lance. "I think not," he replied.

Confused as all hell, Zulgha paused. It was all the time that the person behind her needed to strike.

Ice crackled as her feet suddenly turned extremely cold, and she found herself magically rooted to the blighted ground. It was obviously a cryomancer's spell, but she was frozen so solidly that she couldn't even turn around to see the pandaren woman approaching.

"I'm so happy you tried to gang up on my twin brother," the pandaren mage said while she walked right up next to Zulgha casually. The woman's voice was harsh and laced with a passive aggressive tone that was as threatening as her brother's lance. The fraternal twin sister stood directly behind Zulgha and started to massage her shoulder's, sending her into a panic as she realized she'd been caught so easily. "Had it only been you in here with your toy, it would have still been a fair fight and I would still be waiting on standby. But since your winged guardian here-"

"I'm an obsidian destroyer!" Rahotepa protested, still pinned to the ground and totally ignored by their adversaries.

"-tried to ambush Ming...well, it seems like I'll share in the glory of spilling blood today, too."

The mage continued to massage Zulgha's shoulders as carefully as if they were friends, and the fact that she was quite a skilled masseuse made the act even creepier. With little escalation, she began to enchant her hands with ice magic, freezing the back of Zulgha's neck and trapezius muscles to such a degree that the orc started to shiver. "Your nerve endings will go first. The extreme drop in temperature will prevent their ability to communicate the sense of touch to your brain, numbing you to any pain as your dendrites are permanently deadened," the mage whispered into her ear in a vile, spiteful tone. The audience members leaned forward, trying to listen in as Zulgha tried to figure out what to do.

Once again, it was a glaze of white and black light that saved her out of nowhere.

"Not today!" Runa hissed, knocking the mage to the side and rocking Zulgha enough that her neck and shoulders started to feel again.

Zulgha gasped and sucked in air as the agonizing cold left her body, though her ankles were still rooted to the ground. She looked up in time to see Runa expand her wings to catch air and halt to a stop. With a single mighty heave, the val'kyr swung her battleaxe into the bizarrely unique dinosaur's flank, earning an ear-popping roar as the blade ate into the behemoth's flesh.

Blood splattered and nigh-impenetrable scales chipped and flaked, creating a colorful explosion of gore. The massive beast stumbled to the side, releasing Rahotepa as it reeled in pain and slumped to one knee. The blow was certainly impressive; the sheer amount of weight that Runa moved with a single strike was unlike even many of the siege engine collisions Zulgha had seen in Northrend, and the crowd erupted in applause.

Ever unimpressed, Ming didn't shake or lose his grip in the least even as his mount's rib cage was internally cracked. Without rearing up or giving any other visual cue that he was about to strike, he stabbed Runa with his lance. Although her armor was heavy, it didn't cover much of her body for the sake of mobility, and her entire left shoulder and upper arm were bare. Ming landed a perfect shot with his lance, stabbing deep into Runa's uncovered left shoulder and pushing her down to one knee, just like his mount, and earned a scream from her black lips not unlike the way the Rhinotaur had roared.

" **No**!" Zulgha cried, immediately pointing at Ming and casting the first curse that came to her mind. "Listen to me!"

Dark energy tickled Zulgha's index finger as it glowed, causing the same color glow to light up in both of Ming's ears. The curse she'd cast wasn't the most effective, but everything was happening so fast that she didn't have time to think. Her spell was effective enough, however, as Ming clenched his teeth and raised his free hand to his head in response to Zulgha cursing him with unceasingly beating ear drums.

"What did you do!" he growled before screaming himself. A loud pop was heard as his eardrums burst, ending the pain but rendering him temporarily deaf and dazing him so much that he went cross eyed. Stalwart as he was, he retained his grip on the lance, pulling upward and dragging Runa across the ground so she'd be right next to him.

The sight of seeing her companion, if not a bonafide friend, dragged across the ground like a trapped fox sent Zulgha into a rage, and she pointed at Ming's chest. "Don't rush!" she yelled, cursing him with a slowed heartbeat that would nullify any sort of adrenaline rush he might have from the battle.

"Ping!" he gasped to his fraternal twin sister as he finally slumped over on his saddle. His eyelids drooped down as he struggled to keep his energy level up, giving Runa the opening she needed to escape. Groaning deeply, the val'kyr crawled backward until the lance slipped out of his hand, the grip dropping to the ground. Intelligent as ever, Runa didn't pull it out of her shoulder, and merely tried to hold it up and she hobbled away.

At that same moment, the Rhinotaur tried to rise up again, its single horn pointed at Zulgha. Bleeding profusely from its side, the wounded animal gained a second wind from pure rage, and Zulgha became very aware that her feet were still frozen to the ground. Rahotepa struggled to her own four feet and then tried to ineffectively hit the dinosaur with her two hands. Remembering just what an obsidian destroyer was designed for, Zulgha finally got her bearings back as the commander of the party.

"Eat this frost magic!" she shouted at Rahotepa while pointing to the root spell around her ankles.

Upon realizing that her windmill flailing wasn't actually hurting the Rhinotaur anyway, Rahotepa turned and realized what Zulgha meant. "I'm on it!" the destroyer replied, reaching a hand out toward the magical ice. The substance disintegrated into dust, flowing over toward Rahotepa as the destroyer absorbed the mana. Zulgha nearly tripped, catching herself at the last moment. She was just in time to see the Rhinotaur set its sights on the destroyer again, slamming Rahotepa with its long head.

Ming was flung from the enraged dinosaur's back, falling in a disoriented heap near Runa, who was busy trying to cut down the length of the lance embedded in her shoulder with her axe. Rahotepa was sent flying in the opposite direction, hitting the side of the cage but once again incurring no damage whatsoever. The Rhinotaur reeled, falling snout-first in the blighted black dirt as it continued to bleed profusely. Rahotepa grabbed it by the horn, twisting its head around enough to keep it under control as it continuously tried to smother her against the side of the cage.

Although the quartet all seemed occupied, the crackle of ice behind Zulgha reminded her that the battle wasn't over yet. The cold sensation of a frost bolt alerted her to the spell's trajectory, and she instinctively dove in the other direction as the ball of cold whizzed by her. One of the pillars of the Thunderdome was frozen solid, as well as a few gnomes who'd been sitting in the front row of bleachers behind it. The crowd went wild, clapping their cheese-stained hands together as the last two members of the six-person tag team match faced each other.

Ping had lost all of her previous imposing mystique, crouching as her hands glowed blue. Her eyes burned hate down at Zulgha, who was still bracing herself on the ground. "I'm through with games!" the mage yelled, much to the crowd's delight. "Whether the people give thumbs up or down, you won't be spared-"

Zulgha flashed a gummy grin. While she didn't know any directly damaging offensive spells, her list of status ailments was far more valuable. "Hush," she said, pressing a finger to her lips while propped up on one elbow.

Cut off in mid sentence, Ping tried to say a few more words even after the silence spell had been cast. No sound came out of her mouth, and when her hands stopped glowing, the mage knew exactly what had happened. Straightened up, she just stared at the orc in furious shock, beaten but almost in denial.

Zulgha brushed off the sleeves of her robe as she stood up triumphantly, finally relaxing knowing that her opponent had lost. The crowd was as silent as the pandaren mage, just as shocked at the sudden end. "Not so brave now, are you?" the orc asked.

For a second, Ping just stared at the ground, ignoring the sound of the pointless wrestling match between Rahotepa and the Rhinotaur against the wall of the cage. Then, all of a sudden, Ping looked back up, the determination in her eyes again as she stared Zulgha down. Once again confused, the orc tried to figure out why her opponent hadn't surrendered yet, and once again, was taken completely by surprise when her fellow caster actually charged at her.

"What in the name of - OH you badly dressed fleabag!"

Crashing right into her, Ping tackled Zulgha to the ground with all the underwhelming force of a magic user. The two of them were alike in that they both had a chocoholic's physique, and neither of them were strong enough to overpower the other as they rolled around on the ground. Regardless of their total lack of grappling skills, the audience still ate it up, cheering and stamping their feet as the two non-melee fighters engaged in what had to be the poorest melee fight they'd ever seen.

"Ow! Stop, let go of my hair! OW, STOP!" Frustrated with the massive waste of her skills, Zulgha grabbed a handful of blighted sand and threw it in Ping's eyes. The dirty trick worked, and Zulgha was finally able to squirm out from under the pandaren, who'd been sitting on her back like two siblings squabbling in the sand box. Not in the mood for wasting time, she quickly stood up and returned to what she was actually good at. "You like to freeze people, huh? Let's see how you feel when your blood runs cold!"

Pointing at Ping with such a strain that the muscle in her hand cramped, Zulgha cursed the mage with a sudden drop in body temperature. Unprepared for a taste of her own medicine, Ping dropped to the ground and curled in the fetal position, shivering and raising a hand in a silent plea for mercy. Most of the audience was too shocked to even vote thumbs up or down, and Zulgha surmised that the fraternal twins must have been regular champions or something. A loud crash at the side of the cage alerted her to unfinished business.

Although the Rhinotaur had lost a large amount of blood and stained the blighted ground red in a disgusting mix of black and red, it was still strong enough to batter Rahotepa against the side of the cage. Being an anti-caster class, the obsidian destroyer could do little to hurt a walking piece of meat like the Rhinotaur; since her stone skin prevented physical attacks from hurting her, the two had fought to a standstill, neither able to overcome the other. Wanting to just end the fight and get the hell back to Lordaeron, she channeled her mana for a spell effective enough for such a large target.

"Lights out!" she hissed, putting the raging dinosaur to sleep.

The dinosaur slumped to the ground, finally allowing Rahotepa to shake her head and regain her bearings. As much as the destroyer's skills had developed, she still had a tendency to panic when threatened, and Rahotepa still looked a bit shaken even though she'd arguably come out in the best shape after her fight. The destroyer's glance to the other side of the cage caused Zulgha to follow with her eyes, noticing the two other members of the melee.

No longer under the effects of the two curses, Ming looked entirely cognizant and furious as he sat on his knees, his hands behind the back of his head as Runa held her battleaxe on the back of his neck. For her part, the val'kyr had recovered well; the blight over the area healed her shoulder enough that she'd apparently felt safe removing it, and even now Zulgha could see Runa's ghostly shoulder meat mending itself together again under the effect of the death aura rising from the ground. With all three of their opponents subdued, the unplanned battle seemed theirs; panting until her throat felt raw, Zulgha relaxed her shoulders and raised her hands in a motion toward the area.

"Well...we actually did-"

Out of nowhere, the horusath idol sprang, diving toward Ming before any of the trio could stop it. With all the focus of an actual horusath, the idol bicycle kicked Ming in the side of the head. Though the force behind its tiny feet was minimal, the Dragon Warrior was exhausted enough such that the light blow knocked him over, leaving him in a fetal position similar to that of his twin sister. As if to punctuate its oneupmanahip, the idol then threw its fists into the air as if it was cheering.

The loudspeaker crackled, revealing the voice of a thoroughly entertained Mr. Dealwell. " **Ladies and gentlemen, your winner...Senõr Ramrod**!"

"What!" Zulgha shrieked in rage.

"No, he must be joking!" Runa lamented, the lower half of her face marked by dismay as the idol ran past her and stood in the middle of the dome to welcome a roaring crowd. "Is this a fake competition or something?"

Every row of the bleachers thundered with the footsteps of hundreds of fans as half the audience ran down the steps, around the edge of the Thunderdome and forced their way into the broken entrance. The bruisers did nothing to stop the happy mob, stepping aside as drunken and cheering fans of all shapes and sizes ran past Zulgha so fast that she was almost knocked around in a circle.

"No, you idiots! _We_ were the ones who did all the fighting!" she screamed angrily while pointing to Runa and Rahotepa.

Ignoring her entirely, the crowd surrounded the idol and lifted it up into the air. The idol basked in the adoration, showing the crowd a friendly side it had never shown Zulgha and the others as it allowed the people to parade it around like a champion of all champions. Feet, hooves and tentacles kicked up blighted dust as the crowd exited the Thunderdome, carrying the horusath idol toward one of several ravers visible through the chickenwire walls. The three heroines from Brill stood in utter shock, coalescing in the center of the dome as they all took turns staring at each other and trying to think of what to say.

"Can't we at least get a consolation prize?" Rahotepa asked with true disappointment in her voice.

Walking inside past the cheering crowd, a less-grumpy-than-usual Finneas roamed into their view. "What did I miss?" he asked, immediately setting off Zulgha's hate reflex.

"Oh go to hell, Finneas," she replied while shoving past him.

"What's your problem?" he asked. "It's not like you're having the worst day of your life or anything. You want to talk about a bad day, well _I_ had a bad day-"

"Finneas stop talking!" Rahotepa added, flapping him in the face with her wings as she walked by him.

" _I'm_ the one who was forced, against my civil rights, to display - put me down, you're violating my civil rights!" he shouted, taken aback when Runa grabbed him by the sleeve and started flying away with him.

"Just wait here while the get all the actual work done," the val'kyr said in a rare display of successful sarcasm as she dropped him on the top of a very high palm tree.

The one-liner wasn't exceptionally clever, but it was funny in context since the person dropping it was usually the group's most boringly serious member. "Nice one," Zulgha said as the three of them followed the rowdy crowd to the tavern to reclaim their quest item.

Runa actually paused as they were walking, appearing sincerely flattered. "Thank you, that means a lot coming from you!"

"Don't push it, just take the complement and move on. Speaking of which...let's grab this thing and get on the next boat out of here. I don't want to see another desert again for a while."

The three of them quickly tied their lose ends, leaving Finneas to catch up with them at the docks later. After over a month of traveling, with a few more weeks left to go, they'd all had enough of the spoiled little idol that their employer desired so much. Lordaeron was calling...


	7. Chapter 7

Zulgha sat in her room, seated at her desk once more, numerous tomes and notebooks scattered in front of her. It must have been a few hours since she'd eaten breakfast, and the entire time since then had been spent studying. After the agonizingly long ordeal she'd been through a few months prior, the hours of straight studying felt a little less agonizing in comparison. A light breeze rustled the rust red leaves of the Tirisfal pines outside of her window, creating a rather tranquil scene as she stole a view of the skeleton soldiers practicing their drills in the courtyard.

Down the hallway, she could hear the familiar footsteps of Finneas as he approached. Her door was left open, as was her habit whenever she was awake, and she turned around to face him before he'd even arrived.

"Dr. Bunsenburger needs your help with that bone golem he's trying to repair in the lab," the undead human said dryly while struggling with a rubix cube. "He's, uh...he said something about calibration of the gestation."

" _Manifestation_ , calibration of the manifestation," she sighed, rolling her eyes at how he could be so ignorant of the magic school which kept him functional. "I'll be down in a minute."

"Actually he doesn't want your help now, as in _now_ now. He went out to meet with...I don't know...some person." Finneas couldn't look more disinterested as he continued to twist the cube around. "I'm just letting you know that in an hour or so, he'll need you in the lab."

Then Finneas just stood there in front of her door, fiddling with the cube as he ignored her. He appeared completely oblivious to the fact that he was just hanging out in front of the doorway to Zulgha's private room, or completely unconcerned. Or a combination of both. Reaching forward, she slammed the door shut, hitting his hands roughly enough to knock the cube around.

"Aw no what are you doing!" he shouted as he stumbled down the hallway fumbling the cube like a hot potato.

"Now, time to review my notes - hey, what are _you_ doing here?"

As soon as she turned around, she found a curious little visitor who'd sneaked in to her room. Standing on top of her desk was the horusath idol, Dr. Bunsenburger's prized possession and his most successful battle pet. Truth be told, Zulgha's work had kept her mind off of the awful trip to Kalimdor that had resulted in their finding the little monster; she hadn't actually seen it since their arrival, and had felt content to just let her boss play with toys and leave her to her routine of work, study and weekends.

But now the little ingrate was standing on her desk, staring right at her. "What do you want?" she asked the idol, keeping one of her forearms raised in case it tried to slap her with its tiny hands.

Although she was sure that it could understand her - and probably read her notes - the idol spent a few moments inspecting her work. Its eyes were rather large in proportion to its bird-like head, and it stared up at her with the innocence of a child.

"You're not fooling anyone. Look, I have a lot of studying to do and I'm not in the mood to deal with your attitude, so if you don't mind."

She pointed toward the closed door, saying as little as possible so as to leave no room for negotiation. Her stern glare seemed to cow the idol, and it shrank before her while rubbing the top of its hands like a bashful child. Head hung low, it read her notes one more time before reaching down to pick up her pen. Gentle hands brushed the pen off as if to clean it, taking all the care of an Orgrimmar orphan matron. When the idol glanced up at her again, there was a sense of remorse in its eyes, and evennin the way it held her pen out for her so timidly.

At first, Zulgha expected a trick, but when no such act revealed itself, she cocked her head to the side. "Well...thanks, I guess," she said softly as she reached for her pen. "Perhaps I misjudged you-"

And then the idol threw her pen on the floor as hard as it could.

"You little brat!"

Sticking its stone tongue out through its beak, the horusath idol blew a raspberry at her. Any sort of sympathy or trust she might have felt for the construct was permanently flushed down the toilet.

And then Zulgha bitch slapped the idol so hard that it flew out the window.

"Take that, you miniaturized jackhole!" she shouted while shutting her window.

The idol hit the grass hard, suffering no physical damage but looking dazed as all hell. Zulgha laughed so hard that she had to sit down as she watched it get back up and run straight into Finneas, who had been wandering around the courtyard. His rubix cube was knocked from his hands again, sending him into a storm of cuss words as the idol started to untie his shoelaces.

A knock came from her door, granting her little time to return to her work. "Zulgha, it's me," came the voice of Runa. She generally wasn't allowed into the living quarters of Dr. Bunsenburger's associates since a minor incident where she'd shared lab secrets with other val'kyr, and it was rare for her to approach Zulgha, Barghash or the others when they were in their rooms.

"Yeah, I'm coming," the orc replied, though her room was so small that she didn't even have to get out of her chair to reach over and open the door. "What's going on?"

Runa was stooping in front of the doorway, which wasn't quite high enough for her to comfortably walk through. In her hands were a number of iron tools, and she appeared rather nervous. "Nothing...I just dropped by to ask you something," the val'kyr replied shyly.

"Well, what do you need?" Zulgha asked, her unfinished notes beckoning to her in her peripheral vision.

"Um...do you like horseshoes?"

Zulgha raised an eyebrow in confusion, and she assumed that Runa must have found the horseshoes at a local junk shop. "What the hell kind of a question is that?"

"Well, it's like a game...well, it _is_ a game, really. We put this iron spike in the grass, and then we toss the horseshoes. Because they're shaped like the letter U, right? And try to throw them such that they land with the edges around the spike."

The way Runa flashed a smile afterward seemed a bit forced, as if the spirit warrior was already expecting Zulgha to tell her to get lost. Which she was close to doing.

"Runa, that sounds like a..."

Before Zulgha could tell her it was a dumb idea, she stopped herself. The two of them had been so busy that they hadn't interacted outside of the lab or the crypt, and even then, there were always other people around with them. Their awkward heart-to-heart talk, like the rest of the trip to Kalimdor, had been shoved to the back of Zulgha's mind as she tried to keep up with all the spellbooks and anatomy manuals she'd been indexing. And although her initial reaction was to get rid the val'kyr as soon as possible so she could get back to her boring, musty old tomes, a little voice in the back of Zulgha's mind told her that bullying had to be reserved for enemies and outsiders. And the winged warrior in front of her was no longer an outsider.

Zulgha stood up out of the chair. "You know what, Runa? I think I found my new favorite game," she said while walking toward the door.

As intelligent and reserved as Runa was, her grin lit up the room like that of a happy child. " **We're going to have so much fun**!" the val'kyr shouted way too loudly as she put her thick arm around Zulgha's neck and almost accidentally choked the orc while pulling her along. Zulgha just barely managed to shut the door to her room with her foot on the way out.

"Ouch! Yes, fun, right, I get it, could you not drag me!"

 **The end. :)**


End file.
